Dear Pop-Pop — Jaime & Paul’s wedding

30 August 2019 // 11:04pm

Dear Pop-Pop,

Jaimie and Paul are getting married this weekend. Tonight, we had the beautification of the bride, or as my family keeps saying: “The Indian Wedding.” I got a new dress just for the occasion! Jaime looked beautiful, and so did all of her cousins (and there were a lot of them). There was a very Catholic part of the ceremony, but it was mostly traditional Indian dances to traditional Indian music. They even let cousin Kerri join in for a bit! Probably because she’s in the bridal party. Uncle Mike doesn’t think you would’ve enjoyed it. I don’t think you would’ve understood it, but I know you would’ve appreciated it. The most impactful thing about you is how much family meant to you. I don’t think you would have wanted to spend your birthday / 50th wedding anniversary anywhere else or with anyone else. More than just the ceremony itself, you would really love Jaime. She’s beautiful, inside and out, and not just on days like today. From the first time I met her, I knew she was someone special that Paul should hold onto. She loves him a lot. I’ve heard more than one person say that you can see that simply in the way she looks at him, and I agree.

Near the end of the night, the Baribault twins were dancing with Aunt Sue and Aunt Joan. Had they asked you to dance, you would have joined them and your sisters without hesitation. Holly and Brook turn 5 this year. I remember them being at your funeral, and I remember envying them for not having any concept of what was going on. They’re starting to understand things now, and in turn I can actually understand them. I wish you were still around to sneak them ice cream when Kristin isn’t looking, like you used to do with me.

Love always,
Sweetheart

31 August 2019 // 9:17pm

Dear Pop-Pop,

Today was Paul and Jaime’s wedding rehearsal. More accurately, it was a family BBQ at Aunt Sue’s. I’m surprised at how composed she is over everything. She doesn’t seem tearful that her son is getting married or stressed in any sense of the word over this pretty major ceremony. Kristin asked her today if she’s consumed with thoughts of the wedding, and she basically said, “Nah. I’m more thinking about what’s gonna be happening after- they’ll make each other happy for sure.” I wonder if those are the same thoughts you had before my mom married my dad. The last place I ever saw you when you could actually talk to me was a family party at Aunt Sue’s. It in no way feels like it was three years ago, and I still think about you every day. I have your picture on my mirror, so it would be challenging not to. I love you, and I hope you can see how much you’re missed down here. Oh, and as an update about last night, the Indian Wedding was actually not intended for the groom or his family. They included Paul and his guests as a kind gesture. That’s definitely something you’d appreciate: family including family.

Love always,
Sweetheart

1 September 2019 // 4:48pm

Dear Pop-Pop,

Today is Jaime and Paul’s big day! They got married already, but there are a couple of hours between the ceremony and the reception so I’m writing this on the car ride to the hotel. I know you didn’t get the chance to see it the first time around, but I’m in my prom dress. It’s bright red, which I’ve discovered is worthy of being my signature color. Brianna is more beautiful than ever these days. She’s very confident. Your little chickadee has come a long way. Your daughter has lost so much weight and is the best version of herself that we’ve seen in a long time. You’d be so proud of both of them.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. I don’t usually cry at weddings, but this one got me. First, it was when they called up Paul and Jaime’s uncles. There was empty space next to Uncle Scott, as if he was saving a place for you. I know if you were still here, you would’ve done whatever it took to be here. And I know you’re here in spirit, but I miss you in physical form. The priest was really good. He said “a couple that prays together stays together.” He also did a special prayer for deceased family members, and I know for a fact that anyone in that church who has met you was praying for you. He had asked Jaime and Paul why they felt like the other person was the person that they are meant to be with. Paul said he loves her more than anyone that he was not directly related to. I saw you in his answer — an emphasis on family and its importance. Jaime said that he brings out the best in her. She said that their personalities complement each other, and they are both aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, making them a strong couple.

My mom’s on the phone with my brother. He couldn’t make it because, as an athlete, he had to be at school a few weeks early. He’s another one you’d be really proud of. I know you didn’t get the chance to see him play, but he broke records in high school and he got a decent scholarship to his school. It’s just now hitting me that this is the first family wedding I’ve attended with no Henry’s. Anyway, it’s about time to head over to the party part of the day. I’ll write after the reception!

Love always,
Sweetheart

2 September 2019 // 2:21pm

Dear Pop-Pop,

The wedding was last night. Paul was smiling the entire time. Jaime is a really good dancer. They had a lot of songs from her culture that none of the Koehler Klan recognized, but it was still fun to see Jaime’s side celebrating the occasion in their own way. Speaking of Jaime’s family, holy cow there’s a lot of them. I wonder who will be attending Christmas at Aunt Sue’s this year… and how many will be receiving gag gifts from Aunt Joan…

There was also a doo-wop / oldies medley at some point. They played “I Saw Her Standing There” which is my favorite Beatles song, as well as “Surfin’ USA” by the Beach Boys. I never would’ve gotten into either of them if it weren’t for you. I danced with my parents to those songs, and we left a space for you.

I was trying to figure out who the next couple to get married probably will be. I hope it’s Chadd and Nancy. I don’t know if you’ve ever met Nancy, but she and Chadd have the cutest and chunkiest kid (it’s okay that I say that, she literally calls him Potato) I’ve ever seen. You’d get a kick out of him. As I’m sure you can see from heaven, our family has expanded in the best of ways. I wish you could see it firsthand. Miss you everyday.

Love always,
Sweetheart

This post is dedicated to Henry Michael Koehler, my incredible Pop-Pop. A man who would do anything just for the sake of being kind and loving, who loved and valued family above all else.

30 August 1942 — 3 September 2016